Caution: Amateur in the Pulpit, Watch Your Step

OK people, the bat signal has appeared in the night sky, my spidey-sense has picked up a signal of distress, my invisible plane is prepped and ready, and my oh-mighty-Isis bullet-deflecting wristbands are polished and primed for action.

Look up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Super-Unpaid-Wannabe-Associate-Pastor to the rescue! Da-da-dahhhh!

Yep…mark your calendars, press your best Sunday slacks, and plan on hitting the snooze button and rolling over and going back to sleep, cuz I'm preaching on Sunday....woo hoo!

Our pastor's birthday is on Sunday and she asked for a much needed day off so I will be stepping into the pulpit this week. Which means I should probably stop writing this post and get working on my order of service, the hymn choices, the Call to Worship, the Call to Confession, the children's story….and that bit that comes towards the end….you know, the bit where everyone's eyes glaze over and they start thinking about how crowded Costco is going to be later on….what's that bit called again??....oh yeah, the SERMON!
I suppose I should write one of those as well…

And note to any members of our congregation who may be reading this: Just because the Pastor is taking the day off it doesn't mean the substitute is gonna let you out early or put up with your shenanigans…uh uh…there will be no throwing of erasers or placing of whoopee cushions on the pulpit chair…do you hear that Mr. Gym Shorts? Now stick that gum on the end of your nose and leave it there until the bell rings.


I think I'm going to go for the obvious and preach on the Luke text this week, the Beatitudes (the Jesus laws, one of my all time faves). I shall try my best to breathe some life into it and keep the congregation alert and attentive. Wish me luck.


...and now here it is, your moment of Zen:

"Oh Zephyr Winds which blow on high, lift me now so I can fly!"